nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
