I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
