I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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