I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
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