what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
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I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.