Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.