How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.