His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Can you bring me the toilet please
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".