New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize