the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
