The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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