Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Drake has all the answers
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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