see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize