I must be too annoying 4 u.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
