Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
