Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
How external is "for external use only"?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
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