You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
