I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.