Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I want her autograph on my taint
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?