Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records