whjeg hajt iyt
wanna hang out?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing