I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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