Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Randomize