I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I am puke
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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