He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
