One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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