So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Randomize
