i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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