I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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