This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
wrigley field is MILF paradise
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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