I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
