i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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