She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Such a big mess for such a small penis
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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