OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
my being single is dangerous.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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