can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
