Old men and throwing up are my life now.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize