then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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