He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
