Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'm at about main and main street
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
