That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
My vagina is very pro this idea
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
