We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
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I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
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It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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