I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
