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i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
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