How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...