dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
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