What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...