dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
So I just went to clothing optional bar
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
