When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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