I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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