So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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