hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
