never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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