I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.