He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
