Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
