North Korea, Best Korea!
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
