you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
