Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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