Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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