I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
