well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
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