you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
