I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
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I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
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i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
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