Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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