Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Sorry about my life...
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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